The Beasts Hold the Key
But you unlock the door.
I’m not great at processing my emotions.
If I had to guess, odds are you’re not all that good at it either.
Our emotions make us human, yet, from a young age, we learn to rein in and control them at any cost.
And there is a cost.
Sometimes, the adults in our lives allotted us time to process our big emotions, but that time was pre-prescribed according to their discomfort and impatience.
If we hadn’t finished processing the pain when time ran out? We packed it up and carried it with us. (Hello, baggage!)
After watching a video shared by a friend, I realized I’m guilty of this as well with my kids. When they hurt, I hurt. And as a lifelong suppressor, I’m not well-versed in feeling without limits.
But I’m learning.
My family would laugh if they read this because I’m an emotional girl. But those emotions are forever muddied with ‘shoulds’ and ‘should nots’, the occasional ‘what if’ to keep things extra murky.
Should, shouldn’t, and what if are the gutter guards on the bowling alley of acceptable emotions. They keep us safe and protect us from dropping fully into the emotional mire.
But what if, and I wonder if this will blow your mind like it did mine, what if we didn’t need the gutter guards?
While I appreciate the bowling analogy, the mire I’m talking about is altogether darker, deeper, and far more violent than the gentle dip on either side of a bowling alley.
We need a good, old-fashioned moat, the kind filled with ravenous beasts we keep like pets.
Now, I love to name my pets. I’ll call these ones grief, anger, regret, and humiliation.
These beastly emotions hit us hard, and their claws dig deep into our psyche.
At first, we can’t help but feel them. Not having learned the value of sitting with them, we fight to relieve ourselves of their presence as soon as possible.
If we do allow ourselves time to feel, having learned early in life that space for expression of emotions is limited, we quickly turn our energy to dislodging the little fuckers.
So, we throw the beast into our moat and build a wall of positive thinking between it and us.
And when they rear up, as they inevitably do, threatening to take us to our dark places? We build that wall higher to avoid that journey.
Never having gone there, we don’t know what lies at the end of it and it scares us.
What if we can’t make it?
What if we get lost or stuck?
Some of our beasts are so ravenously enormous we fear there will be nothing left of us on the other side.
And we don’t trust ourselves to make it out alive.
But in locking our beasts away, we’ve caged ourselves in.
That wall of positive thinking? Let’s be honest. It does a shit job keeping our beasts out, but it excels at keeping us in.
And our beasts?
Maybe they’re not the enemies we’ve made them out to be. Maybe they’re trying to break through the wall so they can free us.
We could, and I get this is a crazy idea, but we could sit with our beasts, meet them in the dark places, cry and scream and write and share and accept them for what they are.
We could tame them.
Give them a narrative, one that is full and ripe with self-compassion and validation.
Acceptance that sounds like:
‘Of course, I’m angry. This and this and this happened, how could I not be angry? I’m only human.’
You try.
Of course, I’m ____________. ________________________ happened, how could I not be ______________________? I’m only human.
Of course, I’m ____________. I did ____________________________. How could I not be ______________________? I’m only human.
It’s your story. All of it. Even the messy bits.
Especially the messy bits.
In the midst of the mess, love.
Love madly.
Start with yourself.❤️
If you’ve made it this far, I’ll leave you with one question.
What might you do instead with the energy you expel to maintain that wall around your dark places?
Click below to watch the video that inspired me:
Onto the book stuff!
I have a wonderful giveaway to share with you. You know what’s awesome about the Kiss and Tell giveaway? Newsletter sign-up is strictly optional. You get 38 new books, not 38 new newsletter subscriptions.
My contribution to the giveaway is a brand-new novella attached to the Sage Ridge series. It’s a complete standalone. Check out the tropes below and dive in!
AUTHOR SPOTLIGHT: MINA COLE
Author of swoony heroes, loveable and sassy heroines, and steamy stories with a guaranteed happily ever after!
I’ve never been one to walk away from temptation, and I’m not about to start now.
Mindy Clark’s fiery temper matches her gorgeous red hair. Going toe to toe with her to get a reaction has become my favorite pastime. The more fired up she gets the more I want to know what sounds she’d make for me between the sheets.
When she asks for my help watching our godson for two weeks, I’m in. It’s not like anything will happen. I’m not a relationship kind of guy, and she’s too stubborn to let anyone close. But as the insults fly, the chemistry between us reaches a boiling point.
I should walk away, but I can’t seem to make myself go. Her sexy curves and sassy mouth light a fire in me that I can’t ignore. I know I’ll get burned, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take if she’s the reward.
If you have not yet read the Bridgewater series, now is the time!
Are you ready for it???
Over 475 curated romance books are waiting for you on Kobo Plus!!!
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Bonus: The first month is F-R-E-E. Find Broken Road under the category ‘Later in Life.’
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I wish you freedom and a safe emotional journey.❤️
Live Messy, Love Madly!
Devin. xo