Jugs, Juggling, and Balls
So many balls.
I’ll get to the jugs in a minute, but first I want to talk about juggling. And how I should have taken it up when I had the chance back in the sixth grade.
Don’t judge, it was the 1980’s. In gym class, we did square dancing, juggling, ping pong, and pelted each other with large, red, rubber balls.
In any case, I should have taken my studies more seriously and mastered the art of ball handling (sounds a bit dirty) when I had the chance because juggling my various roles and responsibilities seems to take up the bulk of my mental capacity.
I count ball-handling (I’m committed to this term now) as an additional role on top of all the others because the amount of time and energy I expend ensuring I don’t drop any of the balls constitutes its very own ball.
The analogy is getting a tad murky but stay with me.
The thing is, I hated juggling in the sixth grade. I wasn’t good at it. (You know, hand-eye coordination and all that.)
I didn’t want to do it then, and I still don’t.
I’m sure this comes as no surprise, but I’m still not particularly good at it.
Yet, it’s become my way of life.
I’ve heard the analogy of glass balls and rubber balls - I’ll let you draw your own conclusions as to which ones are okay to drop.
But what if you, like me, are overrun with the delicate kind and the bouncy ones have been rolling around on the floor collecting dust bunnies for some time now?
What if you have special needs kids or aging parents? Mental health issues or financial constraints? Chronic disease?
That’s some high-caliber, delicate glass balls.
Don’t forget the basics of exercise, nutrition, and housekeeping. Add in a couple of fur-babies, kids, and a spouse, and, oh yeah, a job, it’s a wonder any of us are still functioning on all cylinders.
And that’s just the thing, we’re not.
And most of us aren’t all that happy about it.
So, what to do?
I don’t have any magical answers for you, but I can share what works for me.
First, boundaries. And I mean boundaries with everybody. Kids included. My kids are older, but even those on the spectrum from about the age of 13 understood they were not to knock on the bedroom door when it was closed.
Unless there was blood.
Exceptions have to be made for blood.
There were times I left the house, even when everyone was screaming bloody murder at such a monstrous suggestion, to take fifteen minutes to breathe.
Sometimes, I took longer.
And everybody survived.
Second, when an opportunity comes up for one of the kids, for me, or for The Muse, the benefits of said opportunity are weighed against the cost to the family as a unit. The strength of the family unit (however that looks in your house) reinforces the welfare of each member. And that includes me.
I’m part of the family.
And as part of the family, my needs matter.
Crazy, right?
I began carving out time for myself wherever I could, (that’s how I wrote Live Again) and I did it guilt-free. (mostly)
I also developed a healthy sense of self-compassion and humility. Those two, for me, go together.
When I fail to meet my own (society’s?) ridiculously high standards as a wife, mother, and woman, I treat myself with compassion and care. I sit with the sadness and the doubt. And I give myself a break.
Then, like the born and bred Irishwoman I am, I scoff and tell myself to get a grip. Because why am I so shit-hot that I should expect perfection?
I’m not.
And that’s freeing.
I am, however, good enough.
Scuffed glass balls? Good enough.
Glass balls covered in fingerprints? Good enough.
If you give yourself a break, you just might find as I did, most of those glass balls contain a bit of bounce.
For those of you wondering what all this has to do with jugs?
I need to go for my yearly breast check and mammogram.
Self-care is important.
My darlings, have you booked yours?
(And to illustrate I’m serious about the ‘good enough’? That voice over? One take, stumbling over my words included.🤗)
Now for all your goodies!
Did you know all my books are free to read in Kobo Plus? Kobo Plus, like KU, requires a small monthly fee to read! Many of your beloved wide authors are also in Kobo Plus. Including me! Check it out!
Bookmas is for readers and writers! One free read, one free author tool, every. single. day. And if you have not yet read A Lifetime Of Afters, stay tuned because it will come up!
And because I’m not totally out of the spirit of giving, click away to discover more authors and download free reads!
As for me, I’m working away on book five of the Sage Ridge series which, for those of you in the know, is Bridge’s book.
How about a sneaky trope reveal?
❤️Friends to Lovers
❤️Pining
❤️Single Dad
❤️Second Chance
❤️Blue Collar
And of course, Small Town, All The Feels, and Spicy-spice because we’re all about claiming space for our love of all things sex and romance!
If you’re on SubStack, I’ll be around most days. If not, I’ll check in next week.🤗
Live Messy, Love Madly!
Devin xo