I wish for you a skin horse.
And a semi-sane sisterhood.
I’m in one of those life stages where the sand shifts under my feet every other day, and there are some days I swear I’m sinking.
And while this second, reverse-puberty, really fucking sucks, it’s not the first time I’ve had to tap into resources I don’t yet have to make it through.
Each and every time I’ve come out alive. Maybe even more alive.
So have you.
On the outside, these shifting sands appear as new jobs, graduations, career changes, marriage, motherhood, infertility, adoption, divorce, loss, going back to school, menopause, the list is endless.
If we’re lucky, we mark these occasions with celebrations, congratulations, and sometimes tears, surrounded by those who love us.
And if we’re extraordinarily lucky, we are guided by a skin horse.
As much as those outward markers define the stages of our lives, the real action is on the inside where we’re stretched thin, struggling to stay afloat, and stumbling around trying to find our feet.
It’s uncomfortable.
It’s frustrating.
It challenges our sense of self.
And it’s necessary in order to become something new. Or more. Hopefully more quintessentially you.
The real you.
The world will simultaneously try to break you down and set you on a pedestal, carefully kept for the role and purpose you’ve been assigned. You can’t be the real you if you break easily or hide your self away.
Take a moment right now, and look back at the woman you were ten, twenty, thirty years ago.
How far have you come and what have you overcome?
Have you shed your sharp edges, the ones that keep everyone at a distance? Made the decision to live from the center of your wild and untamed heart? Thrown off the mantle of perfection that weighs you down?
Especially that which demands eternal youth and beauty.
The one thing we don’t get to keep on this journey is youth.
Not sure where you’re at in yours, but my thighs are thicker, my hair is thinner, and my tummy is decorated with stretch marks.
There are smile lines around my mouth, crinkles at the corners of my eyes, and if my reading glasses prescription changes any faster, I’m going to start carrying a magnifying glass.
And fuck the risk of TMI but the slip and slide is a little more stick and grip and thank God for my sisters who don’t gatekeep on the good lube because I’m not giving up my sex life this side of 90.
One of the things that has kept me sane (relatively) throughout this current challenge is the women who are walking the path with me. Sitting around a table at The Copper Kettle trading perimenopausal war stories while we shed more and more layers with every hot flash is empowering.
Laughing at the ludicrousness of it all. Sharing what works and what doesn’t. Commiserating. Normalizing the changes. Shedding the shame. And the confident reclaiming of our femininity and our sexuality at every stage.
It’s solidarity.
It’s sisterhood.
I firmly believe we cannot thrive without it.
Growth takes time.
It hurts.
And the path is winding.
It helps to have a skin horse. One who has gone before and tilts their wisdom to light the path behind them.
If you’re not lucky enough to have one, you can still be one.
I’ll leave you with a bit of wisdom from the original. Because sometimes the most important lessons in life can be found between the pages of a book.
Perhaps even especially, a children’s book.
“‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept.’” Margery Williams - The Velveteen Rabbit
If this resonates with you, drop me a line.
Sending you all the love in my heart.
Live messy, love madly!
Thank you to my readers who reached out to share the bit of healing and validation they found in their struggle with infertility by reading Your Soul to Keep.
If there’s something I want to do with my writing, it’s to be there for you.
Click below to read this second chance, single dad, steamy, small town romance:
*If infertility is a trigger for you, please skip this book or proceed with caution.
Today I have a wonderful second chance romance giveaway for you!
I would love a chance to send you a copy of A Lifetime Of Afters so go check out this giveaway on my IG page! Good luck!
What’s better than an opportunity to win a collection of second chance romances brought to you by an incredible group of authors who love this trope as much as you do?
The giveaway runs from January 5th-January 11th! GOOD LUCK!
You must have a public profile to be contacted. The winner will be contacted on January 12th and announced on @Sjonesauthor page. No personal information will be requested other than an address for the authors to send the paperbacks. Instagram is not affiliated with this giveaway.
***Available for US Residents ONLY and you MUST have a US mailing address***
Clicking below will bring you to the giveaway on my Instagram page:
And don’t forget to click below for more romantic reads to download free!