My facial expressions give me away even when my mouth is shut. Which, according to the people who love me, isn’t often.
I’m expressive.
Passionate.
Enthusiastic.
I am a veritable bundle of emotions.
And I’ve learned to be mostly okay with the fact I am not cool, calm, or collected.
I can’t count the number of times I’ve been told to ‘calm down’ and ‘soften my tone.’
It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.
You get more with honey than you do with vinegar.
You’re too abrasive/aggressive/emotional.
Dramatic.
As an added bonus, when I get emotional, and honestly, it could be any emotion, I break out in a rash.
It’s not the type of rash tucked under my shirt or hidden beneath my sleeves. Of course not. It’s my chest, my throat, and my face that become suffused with red.
And when that rash blooms amidst a spirited conversation, it elicits, ‘you’re getting all upset’ and ‘let’s not talk about this.’
Maybe it’s not a rash for you. Maybe your hands shake or your knees knock or you bite your nails.
One of my kids cries a lot when they get in their feels. It bothers them so much to show that ‘weakness’ that they shut down, so mortified by their tears they are unwilling to speak their mind.
But just as my rash, your shaking voice, trembling hands, or knocking knees do not matter, neither do those tears.
When they begin to turn away, I draw them back to me. “Go ahead and cry. It doesn’t matter. I’m not looking at your tears, I’m concentrating on your words. I’m listening.”
Because their words matter.
Their feelings matter.
Their thoughts matter.
Their fucking voice matters. Even when it’s clogged with tears.
So does mine.
And yours.
Speak your mind even if your voice shakes. (Maggie Kuhn)
It’s the message that counts, not the delivery.
Respect your own thoughts, feelings, and opinions enough that you can accept and dismiss your emotional reactions as inconsequential in the face of the importance of your voice.
“Ignore my rash, hear my words.”
“Don’t worry about my tears, pay attention to what I’m saying.”
“Get past my tone. If I sound angry, it’s because I am. If you listen, you’ll understand why.”
Incidentally, being emotional is not a weakness. It’s truth and authenticity.
And while I’m all for polishing the delivery, those of us unused to being heard, received, or respected tend to need a little practice.
And some cannot hear until a message reaches a certain decibel level.
But.
Even if they never hear you.
If they never understand.
If they never receive, respect, or adjust, it’s okay.
What’s truly important is you express yourself, take up space, and allow your words to affirm your own self.
Those who are not okay with you taking up space will fall away. Let the riffraff go and surround yourself with people who listen.
Respect you.
Care about you.
And maybe even love you.
But you have to respect, care, and love yourself first.
xo
Because it’s worth knowing where that quote came from, I’ll link the article here.
I’m going to take up space right here and now.
Books are expensive.
I get it.
And if you’re like me and can easily read 200 plus books a year? For most people it’s not affordable to buy every single one.
I certainly don’t.
I subscribe to KU and Kobo Plus. I use my public library. I buy at the used bookstore. I occasionally ARC read when I’m too impatient to wait. And I swap with friends.
When I read a book I love on KU or KOBO Plus, I buy it for my e-library to support the author. To thank them for giving me more hours of enjoyment than I get from a $5.00 coffee.
To help my readers afford my books, I put them all on Kobo Plus where they can read for a low monthly fee. I also have regular sales (see below!) and occasionally offer ARC copies.
Last week I ran into someone who joyfully showed me that they downloaded four of my books from a pirate site. It didn’t occur to her it was wrong. After all, it’s only a $5 E-book, and books are expensive, right?
If we were to wander around a craft fair, or a farmer’s market, we would not swipe cookies or beaded bracelets off the table simply because we wanted it. And we definitely wouldn’t expect the vendor to be happy for us, grateful that we liked their product enough to steal it.
Please don’t steal books. It’s demoralizing, it’s devaluing, and it hurts.
And just for you, The Bridgewater series is on sale until the end of February. Currently, it’s available for sale on Amazon. As of February 1st, it will be on sale at all your favorite retailers.❤️You’ll need a couple boxes of tissues for these love stories - consider this fair warning!
Kobo Plus, like KU, requires only a small monthly fee to read! Many of your beloved wide authors have their books in Kobo Plus. Including me!❤️
Bookmas is still running and they have a ton of good stuff for readers and writers! One free read, one free author tool, every. single. day. And you can still buy a pass if you’ve missed anything you want.
And if you have not yet read A Lifetime Of Afters, stay tuned because it will come up free for you to download in this offer! (I’ll remind you when it comes up!)
Prolific Works is a platform that offers authors and readers the opportunity to find each other. There are several promotions in different genres running every month. Newsletter sign up is optional. Have a peek!
As for me, I’m working away on the final book of the Sage Ridge series. Here’s a little teaser:
Thank you for being here with me on this journey. And thank you for your support.
Take up Space.
Speak your mind even if your voice shakes.
Live Messy. We’re here for a short time, not a long time.
And most importantly, Love Madly.
Devin xo